visit with Jim and Ali (and some mother ramblings)

Dalia and Eloise love their Uncles and Aunties! We had a super great visit with Jim and Ali a couple of weeks ago. I'm super late even downloading photos. Frankly, I'm SO tired. With one child who won't sleep in the day and another who likes to be up at night, I dare say I'm a walking zombie, currently. Even still, I'm amazed daily at how pleasurable life feels (most of the time). I keep marveling at how grounded and present Eloise keeps me. Though recently it seems I can't stop thinking about choices for Dalia. At almost four she's ready but not quite ready for the big world, for independence, for responsibility.

I'm constantly trying to strike the balance with her. It's hard for even the most sharp individual. Add emotional attachment, love, frustration, worry, oh, yeah, exhaustion and it's a hot, thick soup to swim in. But, usually, if I just clear away the clutter I seem to just find us enjoying our time and nothing else really matters. We're safe, healthy, well fed and without lacking in much, but I guess it just wouldn't be like me if I wasn't trying to figure it all out now. It's easier said than done to stop and just be present. Sure there are decisions to be made, but how important are they? Add making basic developmental and care giving observations for Eloise in there, too and it may not matter if they were both sleeping all day and all night, I'd be keeping myself awake!

Okay, all this rambling is just a window into what's going on in the borders of all these pictures and videos. Life is a dynamic reality, happy, frustrating, rewarding, difficult. Yesterday was my birthday. I got a card from my mom that brought tears to my eyes because the sentiment was exactly what I would say about my daughters - she said I've "been the light of her life for 36 years." How could I ever have lived without the kind of love I get from my girls? Oh, yeah, I got it from my mom.