Thankful

Indeed! This is our first holiday in our new home. Our new community feels like a cozy pod of good people and our home feels more and more wonderful (and ours) each passing month. 

Eloise turns two next week. Each time one of my kiddos has a birthday, I sense the change in the season, the sensations that surrounded me on the eve of their births swell up in me and I get all mushy inside. I'm changed because of her. Both of them, yes. But you expect it with your first. Life is turned upside down. But with Eloise, my heart is different. I feel more at home in the world. More at peace with myself. More in love with my children, Mark, my life, my opportunities, my freedom. 

I feel truly grateful for it all right now. All the crazy. All the laughter. All the busy. All of it. The night before Thanksgiving, after a dinnertime filled with laughter, flying food, singing and goofing off, Mark went into the livingroom and turned on some music. We had a 45 minute dance party with our girls. Dance parties are nothing unfamiliar around here, but this felt different. We were all together, no agendas, no whining, just being happy together. And then we were off to bed with joy and love around us. 

While our hills are getting higher, our valleys are leveling out. Life is, indeed, getting a little easier as our girls grow. And while we have challenges around every turn with health, school, work, money, mostly I just feel abundance. And that, more than anything, feels like freedom. 

I just thought about that scene in The Tao of Pooh when he realizes he can let go in the rapids and even though it sometimes hurts to bump over a rock here and there or get pulled under water for a moment, if he just stays in the flow of it, without resisting, he knows he'll be okay. Better even. Where fear once would have made me wonder when it's all going to be over, this wonderfulness, now I just feel free to take it all in and be thankful. Be me. 

 

Thanks to my children, these awesome little people.